Running for the love of what?

"There's something so universal about that sensation, the way running unites our two most primitive impulses: fear and sensation. We run when we're scared, we run when we're ecstatic, we run away from our problems and run around for a good time."=Christopher McDougall from Born to Run.

I think he has a point there. I never was much of a runner when I was younger. I tried cross country in middle school and always came out last. My goal was to finish a race with out walking, so the last cross country event I finished with out walking, almost puking at the end. Yeah, it was hard.
I never really understood what my parents found in running, they'd talk about the races and how exciting it was to finish and do them, and I always thought to myself "but you have to go through so much pain to finish? What's the point?"

I thought that until this fall, then everything changed...

My parents almost every year do a 5K race on Thanksgiving and thought it would be fun for our whole family to do it together. Now normally I would object to this and just tell them "oh, I'll sit on the side lines and cheer." But something got inside me and told me I should participate in this event. Not sure if it was because it would be a great family bonding time or if I needed to get out and do something with my life, but I agreed to do it with out a single hesitation. It was hard, I intended to walk at first then decided to give the running a try, since I was working up to it a before for a month.

The moment did come when I finally crossed that finish line and I tell you, that exact feeling my parents always described to me when they finish a race came to me so clearly! I felt excitement, and pride and accomplishment all wrapped up in one sweaty ball(meaning the sweat on my back). That feeling of accomplishment and excitement was like a drug to me, I wanted to do more!

So, I started running again after the race. First one time a week, then two then oh my gosh, three days a week!! What was with me? Was I running because I was ecstatic like Christopher McDougall had described or running from my problems? The second option was probably my reason to run, I had problems and I wanted to run from them. But this kind of running wasn't the running away type, it was running, running to get your mind off of the problems of the world.

So, it became a habit of mine. I felt antsy or stressed, run. Feel sad or angry, run. Fell annoyed, just like the wind! All of these negative emotions suddenly was turned into positive and enlightening emotions as I started to run. I felt confident and strong, felt like I was a better person and that nothing else mattered in my life that was as important as that feeling I was getting from running.

It's a kind of accomplishment that always gets better. There is no trying to be the next Prefontaine, because everyone has a different pace and is built differently for this sport. This type of accomplishment became clear to me as I made it through my second 5K this weekend. Here I was just trying to beat my personal record and that was what everyone around me was trying to do. Whether it was to just finish a race or to get a new time, we were all in it till the end.

So as I start out my next 3 mile run, I will remember that we are all in this for the same reason, just to finish and feel good.