Looking at the future

It has been forever since I have written in here, so hello again world!!

Things are starting to happen, I am just trying to take it in and it one day at a time. It's pretty crazy. As of late, I am applying for grad school at CIIS(California Institute of Integral Studies), their drama therapy program. Its quite a process, the essay, goal statement, ect. But I have lots of time, so no worries so far.

A few questions go through my mind during this application period:

Will my essay ever get done?
Is it good enough?
Do I have enough experience:
Am I the right fit for the program?
Am I ready for this?

A lot of things will change once I get accepted, its exciting and yet scary at the same time! I am not big on change, never have been good with it. But have gradually gotten used to it as I make changes. Just need to take a deep breath and deal with it I guess.

First of all, I'd have to move from Davis. San Fransisco would be where I'll live, which is exciting and scary at the same time! Its expensive, but as I told my mom, I can't let that get to me. If money is the reason why I shouldn't apply, then I may never accomplish my goals. Just need to figure out how to make it. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I am slowly preparing me for the amount of work, by taking a class this fall and one in the spring. Got to get myself back into the swing of things homework wise somehow. It has been a few years since I have looked at a textbook! haha.

The biggest change would be leaving my job. One I have had going on three years now! I am ready to say good bye to it, it has been a growing and learning experience for me, and away to figure out what I want to do next. But with that, there are so many people that will be sad to leave. As much as I hope my student will be okay with a new para, I still worry about it. I know my boss will find a good fit for her, yet she hasn't found someone new yet to give me a break, so I am not sure how that'll happen. It will be a huge change for her, and one I hope she can handle. She'll be in fourth grade then, and although she has matured and grown so much, any change is hard. The teacher told me this week that her family is so lucky to have me as their daughters aid, showing my loyalty. It made me think "is it disloyal for me to leave after this year?" But then again, I can't have this job tie me down. I can't let it stand in the way of what I want to pursue. I am not tied to this job all of my life, I have the option of leaving when I want, just like the other paras who have moved away. It's normal.

Anyway, i should not worry about that yet. I wont know anything for sure until April. Lots of time.

One step at a time, that is all I need to do.