Your Lifes Puzzle

I like to talk about the meaning of home a lot, because there are a lot of different meanings for everyone. Home can mean the temporary place you are staying at, place you grew up or a newer permanent place of residence. But home for me is also being with the one you love, the one that when you look into their eyes or when you are beside their side, you feel that you are home.
When a few moments pass when you think you are going to lose that one person you feel you are "home" with, it is like no feeling you have ever felt before.
Think of it as a big part of you that would go missing. Something or someone who makes up of who you are, or who you have become. It is hard to believe to lose something like that, someone or something that you learn so much from or have shared so much of your life with.
It doesn't really have to be a significant other, it could also be a close friend or a relative or even a job. As long as they make up a good part of your life and you feel a certain calmness with them, then you know you are "home."
California may not be where I am from, and I have only been in this state for almost two years, but there certain parts of it that have made me feel like home and certain parts of it that don't make me feel like home. Having a routine with someone you share most of your days with, that is home, that is a good feeling. Or having one place where you get your food, get your hair cut, a library to go to and knowing the right places to go for the right prices. When you become familiar with your surroundings and your schedule of life, that is home.
But if a part of that is missing, a piece of the puzzle of your life, it can't be complete. That is what goes through your mind in those few moments when you think you will lose that piece of the puzzle.
For some people, starting a new "puzzle" after awhile is okay, but some who have worked on this for a long time can't move on until they know it will be okay.
Cherish the people, places, and moments you have that make up the whole "puzzle". Because you don't fully appreciate it until its gone, and when it is gone, it is too late.

*This does not mean that i have lost anyone or anything. Just are thoughts after encountering some scary moments. I don't mean to be morbid.*

college days

It has been awhile. Sometimes those creative writing juices need a rest, so much thinking in one day and its hard to keep it going after the day is done.
But I felt inspired, especailly after reading my lovely mothers blog. I always get ideas or inspired in the weirdest places and at the wrong times. The other day, I was brushing my teeth before going to work and I got a idea, but no time to write, so I lost it. Who knew brushing your teeth could get your head thinking for awhile? Sometimes these ideas just come out of nowhere, and sometimes they are well thought out.

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about college lately. It has been 3 years since I have been out of college, out of the best 4 years of my life. As much as I love being a working professional at times, I do miss those years. Everything seemed so much easier then, all I had to worry about was when a paper was due or when my next test was. Didn't worry about if a day at work was going to go well or not, when my next rent payment is or what I need to make for dinner. All of my friends were a dorm, apartment, or hall way away!

Nowadays, I have no friends who live a dorm room away from me, or an apartment away from me. (though, my boyfriend lives 1 minute from me, so that is a plus!) Life is definitely different after college, but I do know that your college friends are the ones you keep the longest. I always knew that my college friends were important to me(some of them were even before college and just stayed with me once i entered college.) But I did not realize what a void is created when they are not around until this weekend.
This weekend I got the pleasure to kind take a peek inside what college was like for my boyfriend. Meeting his friends from college made me realize even how much more I miss college sometimes. Everyone has different experiences in college but they are all memorable, and have been documented in different ways. Maybe some people take pictures, or maybe the write about it every day, but whatever the way the document it, it is always fun to look back!
I have seen many of my boyfriends college pictures and he has a story for each one of them, either a story of what the picture is about or the person in the picture.
I look back at mine, and I can tell you when it was taken and what we were doing. I smile as I look back at these, remembering these simple times and wonderful memories. It really shows that a picture is worth a thousand words!
I know I have made the decision to move thousands away from my friends, but I am also one to never lose touch, hence why I love technology these days! Being far away, makes coming back to visit all the more worth it too, and its never different! Its just like picking back up where we once left off years ago.
I think that is the best part about reuniting with old friends. I discovered this a few years ago when I was in a musical back in Wisconsin, one of my moms old friends from when she was in theatre, was working on the musical and that reunion between both of them was just like picking back up where they left off! Amazing!!! Sure there are things to share with everyone, stories of what is going on with your lives, but its the stories that we come back to that make that reunion the best!
I don't know how many times my friends and I would bring out a story about a party or just a lazy day in the apartment or dorms. We could tell those stories a million times and we would never get sick of it!
Now I know that life must go on after college, and that we can still create different memories, which I have done. That year after college, working in the mountains, is full of memories!! Moving to this part of California is definitely full of memories! But I truely believe that college makes us who we are in the real world. Whether it is a lesson learned from a friend, owning your first apartment, dealing with room mate issues or turning in a large assignment, in some small way or big way, these have all made us who we are in the real world. There is also some learning and growing to do when you are out of college, the whole paying bills, working at a job, living in your own house or apartment, but it grows on your experiences in college.
So to close, I want to thank my friends from the 4 years of college I have made. Thank you UW-Whitewater for giving me the experiences that I will never forget.
Live it to the fullest, you only get to go to college once!

ch ch changes

Maybe I am having my quarter century crisis or my mid-life crisis early, but there are some changes I need to happen.

I have been with my job almost 2 years, been out of school for almost 3 years and I am ready to go back to school. Don't get me wrong, I like my job, but I have realized this year that it is not something I want to stay with for too long. I like to be in some control of things, and with my job, there is only so much control you can have. I am starting to look into going back to school to become either an Occupational Therapy Assistant or an Occupational Therapist. It is a job that has a lot of options for careers, you can work in hospitals, nursing homes or schools. Since i have had the experience to work both in a nursing home and school, it looks like a path I could take.I am hoping with the amount of research I have done about this, that the school i want to attend will work for me. I hope it allows to me stay at my job for at least one more year and let me gain some financial assistance if it doesn't.

I am not one for change, I never liked it. When my mom switched grades to teach, I freaked out. When my mom retired, I freaked out. When we moved to a different house, I almost couldn't take it! But then, I make changes and I am okay with it. Maybe it helps me to make changes, it helps me accept change in my life if I make the changes. I am in control of them, so if it doesn't work out, i can have a plan of what to do.
Isn't that life is all about? Changing for the better, hopefully not for the worse.

deja vu

I am not sure how common deja vu is, but often I feel that I am experiencing it. It is the weirdest thing, you could be reading a note someone wrote(like I was just doing before i wrote this) and it will occur to you. I was reading a note a friend wrote and I had to stop because I could of sworn that i read it before, but it wasn't written before then. It was just that short little time, that little paragraph when I thought to myself "haven't I read this before? It seems so familiar." but then I read on and that thought passed.

I wonder how many people get these moments of memory where they think they have been in a certain situation before. It is interesting and I wonder more and more about this phenomenon called deja vu.

On another note: don't trust craigslist. You get weird people emailing you for reasons that aren't even about what you posted about. If you are smart, you stay away. If you are not, then I guess you'll find out what happens.